Wednesday, December 20, 2006

US Weekly perfume?

First Celine Dion releases a self-titled perfume for the Walmart masses. It gets a nice response for the first 3 weeks. It smells floral, simple, slighty powdery.

Enter Jennifer Lopez, at the height of her popularity, pre-Ben Affleck, releases her first perfume "Glow". Its floral, simple, slightly powdery. It sells like crazy, the bottle "wears" a belly chain, so I assume the following to be 15 year olds. It turns out to be mostly grown women buying it in droves. Jennifer puts out 2 more fragrances that are more sweet and fruity, a little exotic.

Jessica Simpson starts a fragrance line that smells sweet and edible. She calls it Dessert and makes it lickable. Her customers are mostly 15 year old girls. Why do they need to lick their fragrance? It goes into mass retailer Walgreens and loses it's prestige credibility. A Joe Simpson maneuver?

Britney Spears puts out "Curious". She boldly avoids the obvious "clean", "fruity", "floral", and "powdery" notes and goes for a heady patchouli infused with sugary warmth. It does well, but I've not once smelled it actually worn on anyone. Maybe they just like the bottle with the old fashioned atomizer?

Meanwhile, Sarah Jessica Parker releases "Lovely". A floral, simple, slighty powdery fragrance. She appears on Oprah in an attempt to hock it to the masses. They seek it out immediately and it is in the Top 10 sellers of fragrance for 2005. She beats out mainstays like Chanel and Dolce and Gabanna. Riding the success she releases a "new" fragrance, that is called "Lovely Liquid Satin" that is exactly the same as its predasassor with a different texture to be worn as a body gel. Why not just call it an expansion of the already established scent?

I thought this trend hit rock bottom with the release of Paris Hilton's fragrance. It was (surprise) floral, simple, and slightly powdery. Actually, I have to give it to her camp, they also made it pleasingly citrusy as well. And it sold well. So well, in fact, that she has since released (in JLO fashion) 2 more within a year. How does she have time with all the lip syncing, party hopping, and text messaging?

As if this wasn't enough, another celebrity has put out a fragrance. Yes, she's come a long way from Nickelodeon, but seriously....Hilary Duff. It's naturally floral, simple, slightly powdery. The common quip about her brand is "I don't really like her, but I think the bottle is pretty and sophisticated and the smell is actually really pretty." Yeah, and I liked her before she was popular, right? Who's next? Fergie? The Pussycat Dolls? Reality TV sensation/Paris Hilton face-puncher Shanna Moakler?

Let's not forget the boys here:
Men's cologne by...Sean Jean (aka P Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy...whatever). It's called Unforgivable. I couldn't have said it better. Carlos Santana. Really? Really. What's his called, Overrated?And for the gayest of gay: Alan Cumming. It's a little tongue in cheek at least. Called Cumming.
And in other fragrance news....If celebrities haven't made it ok for ANYONE or ANYTHING to come out with a fragrance: Hummer Cologne. I'm not kidding and I wish I were. As if driving THE gas guzzlingest monster weren't enough, do you really need to enhance your anti-charm with a gigantic yellow rubberized bottle that the men who buy will certainly pour on with such enthusiasm that we must hold our breath? The answer, yes.

1 comment:

Eryn said...

People compliment my fragrance, and when I say it's Paris Hilton, they don't believe me...Miss u!